Feelings ~ how to deal

There's this 11 year old girl that lives in my house ~ entering 6th grade. An age and time you couldn't pay me enough money to repeat. There's been a lot of emotion lately and she doesn't seem able to express it. Lot's of varying feelings and not a whole lot of communication. My prayer lately has been how to help her cope. How to help her manage that big jumble of feelings and hormones and emotion. God gave me a clue in a concrete way. Isn't he good? I just got a message in my inbox from Elisabeth Corcoran author of Moments for Moms. She was helping her son to identify and express his emotions. She wrote a list and read that list to him as a "bedtime story". So detailed and perfect. I will share it my precious girl and pray it will help her.
Elisabeth says to feel free to use it!

Here's the list:

Happy

Definition: in high spirits; satisfied

Synonyms: blessed, can't complain, cheerful, content, delighted, ecstatic, glad, grateful, joyful, laughing, peaceful, playful, thrilled

When you might feel this: When you get your way, when God answers a prayer, when you get a gift, when you do well on a test, when you get to do something fun…

How can you know this is what you’re feeling? You smile, laugh, feel good inside, want to keep feeling that way

What can you do to express this feeling in a healthy way? Laugh, thank Jesus, thank the person who helped you feel this way, you can look up a verse about being happy (Psalm 68:3)


Angry

Definition: being mad, often extremely mad

Synonyms: annoyed, displeased, enraged, furious, irritated, offended, resentful

When you might feel this: when someone irritates you, takes a toy away, turns the channel when you don’t want them to, interrupts you, makes you do something you don’t want to do or at a time you don’t want to do it

How can you know this is what you’re feeling? You might get hot, you might want to kick or punch something, you want to yell

What can you do to express this feeling in a healthy way? Quietly tell the person that you’re angry and why, tell Jesus about it and ask him to help you handle your anger well, talk to your Mom or Dad about it, journal about it, punch your pillow, count to ten, breathe deeply for a few moments, take a quick walk up and down the driveway, go play basketball, you can look up a verse about what God wants us to do about our anger (Ephesians 4:26)

How you shouldn’t express this feeling: Yell at the person, yell at someone else, slam doors, be disrespectful, hurt someone or yourself, keep it to yourself


Sad

Definition: unhappy, depressed

Synonyms: blue, dejected, despondent, down, down in the dumps, downcast, gloomy, heartbroken, heavyhearted, hurting, melancholy, troubled, weeping

When you might feel this: when someone says something that hurts your feelings, when you’re left out at school, when you don’t do well on a test or in a game, when you miss someone, when someone breaks a promise

How can you know this is what you’re feeling? You may cry, may feel tired, may not want to talk to anyone, you may want to be left alone

What can you do to express this feeling in a healthy way? You can talk to Jesus and ask him to help you feel better, you can talk to your Mom or Dad, you can journal about it, you can spend some time alone in your room or doing something by yourself, you can lie down for a little while, you can cry, you can make a list of five things you’re thankful for, you can look up a verse about being sad (Psalm 42:11)


Scared

Definition: frightened

Synonyms: afraid, anxious, fearful, panicky, startled, terrified

When you might feel this: during a thunderstorm, doing something that is a phobia

How can you know this is what you’re feeling? You might feel butterflies in your stomach, you might feel hot, your hands might get sweaty, you might have trouble sleeping or concentrating

What can you do to express this feeling in a healthy way? You can tell someone that you’re scared, tell Jesus and ask him to make you more brave, journal about it, hold someone’s hand, you can look up a verse about Jesus being with you when you’re scared (Joshua 10:25)


Lonely

Definition: feeling friendless

Synonyms: abandoned, alone, apart, by oneself, companionless, deserted, isolated, lonesome, rejected, unbefriended, uncherished

When you might feel this: when you’re on the bus and not sitting next to anyone, when you don’t know anyone in your class or at lunch, when you don’t know anyone in a new sports team or club, when one or both of your parents are out of town, or when you’re out of town

How can you know this is what you’re feeling? You feel like you’re missing someone

What can you do to express this feeling in a healthy way? You can call, email or write the person you’re missing, you can tell Jesus about it and ask him to remind you that He’s with you, you can journal about it, you can look up a verse about Jesus being your friend (I John 4:11)


Worried/Confused

Definition: anxious, troubled, don’t know what to think about something, don’t understand something

Synonyms: afraid, apprehensive, concerned, distracted, distraught, distressed, disturbed, fearful, nervous, uneasy, upset,

When you might feel this: when you hear your parents’ fight, when you’re left home alone

How can you know this is what you’re feeling? You might feel butterflies in your stomach, you might imagine things to turn out badly (for instance, you might think that if your parents’ fight, it might mean they’ll get a divorce)

What can you do to express this feeling in a healthy way? You can talk to Jesus about this, you can talk to your Mom or Dad about this, you can journal about this, you can list off five things you’re thankful for, you can look up a verse about worrying (Matthew 6:34)